Busted

This week I became an offender of one of my biggest pet peeves: turning on the mouth and not the brain.

I understand that this is a broad statement that results in lots of actions that are, shall we say, not our best work. Within this category, I am specifically intolerant of people to pass along outrageous tales as truth without even thinking to check, "is this true?"

It's happened to most of us. Someone posts a story or sends an email and you instantly think, "No way! The rest of the world must know about this immediately." All I ask is that you do us a favor and take 2 minutes to figure out if there is even a chance it could be true before you go running around town telling everyone. I mean, you were shocked, were you not? Put it into Google and if Snopes is on the first page, consider putting the megaphone away.

Lets think of some examples, shall we?

The president is secretly a gangster. It's a good thing he BFFs with Kat Von D so he can get a discount on all of that tattoo concealer.

Women are not only going to be allowed in combat soon, but they will be required to take their babies into the battlefield with them so their intuition will be on high alert.

Next,  I have to apologize for subjecting all of you to a political rant. To be fair, it seems that I was not the only one who was duped, but I did get publicly hot and bothered about it before doing my homework.

In short, this was about a statement Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan made while hearing a case about California's Proposition 8. I read a news blog that said Kagan suggested marriage licences be offered to same-sex couples after their childbearing years. To me, that sounded like the most ridiculous solution, regardless of what side you're on - and that was precisely her point. In addition, the original story I read misrepresented what she said.

Fortunately, I have friends that pay more attention to politics than I do and pointed out that it was highly unlikely that this particular justice would suggest such a thing. It took no more than 5 minutes to discover the context of the discussion and realize that "If she could have added 'you dumbass!' she probably would have."

Touche my friend. Touche.

Travelin' Blues

Oh, the places I have gone. You may remember my Philadelphia woes from earlier this year. That was a special experience, but the most recent trip back home really stepped up to the plate and delivered a home run.

First, I must explain the logistics of this situation. Flight from Houston to Phoenix. Über long layover. Flight from Phoenix to Portland. Drive from Portland to Seattle. Flight from Seattle to Houston.

In addition to the fact that I was bummed about having a layover in the first place, I was a little frustrated with how long it was. SPOILER ALERT: this ended up working in my favor.

Did you know: If you have a connection through the great Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport, landing in one terminal and leaving from another, you have to leave security check and take THIS. Outside.

"Really?" you ask. Yes.

"But don't those people have their bags?" you inquire. Oh yes.

I wish I was joking, but I'm not. Imagine me in my I'm always freezing airport clothes hauling my bags around outside in sunny Phoenix weather. What airport, pray tell, requires passengers to leave security check, ride a bus, and go through security check again to catch their next flight? This one, apparently.

If I hadn't already harassed enough airport employees for directions, this bus leaves its passengers at each terminal's baggage claim. This is probably because taking you check-in would be too organized for their liking. After trying to find my flight and finding two US88s, I made it to my gate carrying fewer liquids than I started the journey with and just a few minutes to spare.

My second round of security in one day may have proven useful for the parents out there because I discovered this bad boy:

I am not kidding when I say that every single person with a child stopped the woman pulling it to ask about her magic carriage.


Imagine my delight when I realized that my flight home was not only bypassing Phoenix but it was also direct. And imagine my horror when my seat neighbor got on to our delayed flight and threw her handbag onto my sandwich. Self-unaware doesn't even begin to describe it. She didn't notice my wounded lunch because she was on her way toward the back of the plane to store her luggage before forcing the entire line of boarding passengers to back up, letting her into her [middle] seat half a dozen rows in front of her bags.

Now, I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I have to just come out with it. What percentage of my seat do I have to lose before I can be upset that I have paid for a seat that I am not allowed to fully occupy? I do not exaggerate when I say that I had to forfeit part of my seat to my neighbor, who proceeds to stay in the middle seat even after no one occupies the aisle of our row. I mean, can't even get the armrest down to turn off the tiny TV.

Even more awkward than touching a complete stranger for hours on end is being drilled about your student, work, and spiritual status by said stranger, who violently highlighted the Bible the entire flight. Here's a lesson I learned by being a student: if you highlight the whole thing, it doesn't do any good - now it just hurts your eyes when you try to read it again. Just in case anyone was wondering.

I like to think it's flights like these that allow me to be thankful for the others that really aren't half bad and to remain a polite, adjusted human being in stressful situations.

So now I'm curious about others' experiences. If there are any good stories out there, now is your chance!