I have a tendency to let this become the theme of my late 20’s. Still beginning, but thinking I’d be so far by now. When I was 10 and even 20 years old, 28 sounded like a great age to have a house, solid career, and growing family – well on my way to being middle-aged. At 28 looking back at the 10 and 20 year old versions of myself, I know they would never believe how young our “old” self feels. Plenty of time to figure things out and hanging on to a little bit of angst - still surprisingly focused on the need to grow up faster.
Wishing I was old enough to stay home by myself. Wishing I
was old enough to drive, get a job. Waiting impatiently until I could go to
college, travel on my own. Waiting (even more impatiently) to get married,
start my first “big kid” job. Dreaming about our future house, children,
vacations, family gatherings.
The truth is: I could come up with all kinds of things that
I want. Maybe if I had a house, I’d want half of the Crate & Barrel website
to put inside it. I could learn to want a new car to put in the driveway and a
new job to pay for it all. I want a great job with a solid, reliable income. I
also want a relatively stress-free life with free time and no reason to be in
traffic at rush hour. Sometimes I find that I just need a change in
perspective.
So what do I actually want?
I want to be able to pay the
bills and have a little extra to do something fun once in a while. I want a
partner in crime to share my thoughts, feelings, and adventures. I want to make
a home with that person that we can invite others into. I want to spend more
time with the people I love than sitting at a desk. While I am sitting at a
desk, I want to do something with my life that I believe in, something I can be
proud of. I want to make my parents and my spouse proud of the person I've
become. I want to have the opportunity to make other people’s (or puppies’) day
a little brighter. I want to be inclined to focus on the positive things in my
life and not let my frustrations overshadow them.
