Table for One

I will admit that walking into a restaurant and saying, "just one" is not my preferred way to dine, but it sure beats takeout in a hotel room. I was pleasantly surprised to find that "dinner for one" is a legitimate category on Yelp, so I picked a place that sounded good close to my hotel in DC and off I went.

I was seated in a row of tables in with nothing to look at except the rest of the empty dining room. So I pulled out a pen and an old receipt, taking the opportunity to jot down the whirlwind of a trip that I've had so far. Shortly after, two young ladies sat down at the table next to me. Thanks to this experience, I will always go to solo meals equipped with pen and paper. Next time you're at a coffee shop or restaurant and the single diner, deep in thought, is writing while they eat, keep in mind that although they appear to be in their own world scribbling their genius ideas... they might actually be writing about you.

On the back of the receipt, in between names of memorials and museums are quotes from my neighbors' discussion. What I can tell from their conversation is that they're college freshmen who don't like their roommates. They are members of an unnamed sorority and it seems they are plotting to ditch their current roomies (who are super lame) to live with each other next year. I assume this is because they have so many common extracurricular interests. Based on the location of the restaurant and references to the street names where they have class, I think they go to George Washington University (although there were also lots of references to Georgetown). They are classy ladies.

Brace yourselves friends, for this is the state of our youth:

• "Poly-Sci is the only class I did very well in. The term paper was like 15 pages. I turned in the rough draft like two weeks late and the final paper was over a month late. Hahaha." The friend replies, "Yeah, a lot of people at the school aren't very smart." 

Can we please keep in mind that GW is a prestigious, highly selective (only 30% of applicants get in), private university that costs over $40k a year for tuition alone?! And Georgetown is the other feasible option.

• "Hooking up with a stuffy nose is awful!"
• "I went to the Museum of Natural Science and just thought, 'I need to smoke some weed and go back.' So much eye candy there."
• "Oh, she looks like she would be like that. It's so funny that she actually is."
• "My town is like, all Jewish." Friend immediately responds, "Yeaaah. There are a lot of Asians in New Jersey." 
• "My Big just made pot brownies."
• In reference to a roommate (who is no fun at all), "She's exactly who our moms want us to be."

In related news: look out Carly Cessani, you're roommate's talkin' smack about you. And for the love of God, stop sending your papers to your mother to proofread, you're a big kid now.